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Butchered Family

  • Writer: Kimiya Deruiter
    Kimiya Deruiter
  • Aug 8, 2025
  • 3 min read

Crumpled up words

that you wrote

on the pages

of us.



Dumpled over, sobbing and

gut wrenched

by you

leaving...






Unpackaged flufffffffk

When I thought

we were solid.


Shipping back a

return exchange


As "your healing"

causes so much pain...






Doing the work


We could've done

together


Had your selfish choices

been executed mindfully better...




As Sundance sadly closes, a tag line on their email news letter is "wild hearts and free spirits accepted." Ooppsie, I got the quote slightly wrong. But, however, comma, I believe both ways to be true to my value system.






As a creative, as an artist, and just as a human adulting as best as I can with childlike faith, I have a high value for freedom. I hate a controlling spirit. As such, walking this out gets messy fast if my goal is to contribute to creating healthy environments where I'm not hypocritical in reciprocating an all encompassing honor, aligned with emBracing, accepting, wanting and prioritizing relationships above debating right from wrong.



Freedoms rolled out in disrespectful, unprincipled and unjust ways, steal from others' freedoms and are thus hypocritical.


Prochoice is a free-will gift, intituted by God, but is not without consequence.


Not a big deal when you're running and playing light heartedly and just for fun. But when the stakes are high, life or death kind of high stakes, then 'Houston, we have a problem.'




Have you heard the saying, "Hurt people, hurt people.?" usually followed by the antidote, "Free people, free people." But, however, comma and also this: dot.dot.dot...





This adulting $#!% is no joke!



How do you deal with uncertanty? Do you like surprises? Do you prefer strategic planning and solid commitments? How do you respond to things when they don't go according to your plans?



How do you honor those free will choices of others when they at a high stakes level, hurt like hell, grieve you in gut wrenching ways and piss you off?

Maybe or Perhaps......





No, wait, "strike that."....



Childlike and childish are two all together vastly different things. One is innocent, trusting, free spirited, boundless in creative imagination, genius and purposefully productive. But don't be gravely mistaken; the other needs growth and maturity and sometimes a "tapa na sua bunda."


A quote that affirms everything I am writing and trying to live out about childlike faith, was stated by Bill Johnson sharing at Bethel in Redding Ca. only days after his wife Beni had passed into Heaven on Wednesday, July 13, 2022. Bill was doing some serious adulting. By the way, good, bad or ugly grieving, counts as max-effort adulting hard in my book.


“The level of revelation God gives you will always be equal to the measure of mystery you will need to live with. And the inability to live with mystery is your resistance to childlikeness. It’s childlikeness that actually gives us access to dimensions in realms of the Kingdom that you can’t get any other way.” ~Bill Johnson 7/17/22


I don't understand how people do life without childlike faith. We have to have access to realms of peace and joy to opporate in healthy and free ways. Freedom and safety are essential basic human needs.


I haven't arrived at nor perfected what or how to process the balance between the choices we get to juggle when attempting to adult with childlike faith, but I am writing out loud and sharing some helpful things that I have found along the way. For instance, a long time buddy I've enjoyed interacting with on Instagram has very mature widsom to glean from, that I can only imagine was hard earned, but I am also certain was put to good use in his life and will be in yours if you choose...



click to read in Instagram.


If not in the comments, will you at least start this conversation in the privacy of your own inner adult self and with the integrity of your true authentic and boldly honest inner child?


What are the owies that got your heart some nasty booboos?

How can you support finding and instituting some healthy boundaries?

Can you release shame that is impossible to carry?

Where do you need to forgive yourself?

How can you better practice honoring other's boundaries and freedoms?

What are some freedoms you'd like to give yourself permission to explore?

What are some commitments you need to adult better at?

How well are you at willfully choosing between your mind and emotions?

Is there anyone you need to go to and begin cleaning up some messes with?


What does freedom and safety look like for your inner child?

How might you prime the pump on filtering some joy into your daily practice?








 
 
 

11 Comments


Guest
2 days ago

luongsontv bóng đá mình thấy mọi người nhắc hoài nên cũng bấm vào coi thử cho biết, kiểu tò mò giao diện thôi chứ không ngồi soi nội dung. Vào cái là thấy trang làm khá thoáng, chữ không bị nhồi, nhìn lướt một cái là định hình được chỗ nào là gì. Mình để ý họ chia thông tin theo từng khối rõ ràng nên kéo xuống cũng nhanh, không phải đọc mỏi mắt. Menu đặt ngay chỗ dễ thấy nên bấm qua lại giữa các mục cũng tiện, không bị lạc. Mình thích nhất là mấy phần trình bày dạng bảng cột nhìn gọn, số liệu hay lịch gì đó nhìn phát nắm được luôn. Nói chung cảm…

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Guest
4 days ago

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Guest
Jun 01

kuwindow.cc mình lướt thử cho biết thôi vì thấy bạn bè nhắc, chủ yếu xem giao diện có dễ dùng không. Vào trang cái là thấy menu để ngay trên đầu, mấy mục kiểu tin tức với hướng dẫn nằm rõ ràng nên bấm qua lại khá nhanh, không phải mò. Mình có đọc ké phần giải đáp thì họ giải thích chuyện kết quả dựa trên RNG nghe cũng dễ hiểu, viết ngắn gọn chứ không dài dòng. Cách trình bày dạng từng khối nội dung, câu hỏi tách riêng nên nhìn đỡ rối mắt, kiểu đọc lướt vẫn nắm được ý. Nói chung cảm giác giống một trang hỗ trợ được sắp xếp gọn gàng, nhất là phần…

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Guest
May 25

bongdalu dạo này thấy bạn bè nhắc hoài nên mình cũng ghé thử xem sao. Vào trang cái là thấy phần tỷ số trực tuyến được làm khá rõ, chữ số to và các bảng chia cột nhìn gọn nên lướt nhanh vẫn bắt được trận nào đang diễn ra. Mình không phải kiểu ngồi soi kỹ, nhưng cái mình để ý nhất là chỗ đổi múi giờ GMT: họ để ngay trên trang, chọn phát là lịch giờ nhảy theo luôn, tiện nếu hay xem giờ khác Việt Nam. Tổng thể nhìn không rối, mấy khối thông tin tách bạch nên mắt đỡ mệt, nhất là khu chọn múi giờ GMT nằm ngay phía trên cùng giao diện.

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Guest
May 24

kèo nhà cái hôm nay mình thấy mọi người bàn tán hoài nên cũng ghé thử cho biết. Vào trang cái là thấy họ ưu tiên phần tỷ lệ kèo bóng đá, nhìn khá trực quan chứ không bị rối mắt. Mình thích kiểu bảng kèo để theo cột, kéo xuống vẫn dễ dò nhanh từng dòng, hợp ai chỉ muốn liếc qua là nắm được. Có một điểm tiện nữa là họ tách riêng mục lịch sử kèo, nên lúc muốn xem lại mấy trận đã qua không phải lục lọi hay kéo dài mệt nghỉ. Nói chung trải nghiệm lướt ổn, chữ rõ, khoảng cách giữa các khối thông tin vừa đủ. Mình ấn tượng nhất là khu…

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